Somebody in the chat on Open Forum Friday asked how to deal with VO during a hardship. I ended up talking about it for most of the live, because it means a lot to me and I don't think we talk about it very much. The personal side. The stuff that happens at home while you're trying to build this business.

Why doesn't my family understand my voice over business?

Because most of them have never met a voice actor. I used to take my son to soccer and someone would ask what I did, and I'd say I'm a voice actor, and they'd go, what is that? Is that a job? And the next question is always what video games am I in.

And then look at what they actually see. You crawl into a closet or a hobo fort and talk to yourself for hours. I built a hobo fort in the middle of our house. I'm sure some people in my family were a little weirded out, maybe a little embarrassed. Nobody in our family had ever done anything like this. When you say it out loud it is a little comical, right?

Why does building a voice over business feel so lonely at first?

Early on I spent a lot of time building this business and I had really nothing to show for it. You don't, for quite a while. And a lot of that time, especially if you have another job or kids, is at night. So you end up giving up time you'd normally spend with the people you love, to build something most of them don't understand.

It costs money too. Whatever you make in the first few years, you usually put right back in. New gear, training, building out your stuff. The people around you see that money going out, and they get worried.

There's another part of this nobody talks about. Multiple things can be true at once. When I started, I was very happy with my family. I loved them to death. But I was not happy at all with where I was in my work. I missed performing and acting, and it was nagging me all the time. The people in your life may not see that. They might think, why can't they just be happy? And then they start to think it has something to do with them.

What do I do when my spouse doesn't support my voice acting?

This is the part that changed things for me. Early on I was frustrated, because I didn't know how to explain what this meant to me.

What I realized was that instead of getting angry about their frustration, it was my responsibility to shoulder it. It is scary for the people watching you. They struggle to see the vision with you, especially when it takes a long time. And that's not a bad thing about them.

That worry doesn't usually come out in a kind way either. It comes out angry, because most of us keep everything inside until it spills out. Fear can come out as anger. It really can. Once I saw that, I could stop fighting it. I could say, I understand, I see you, I know you're scared. And then keep moving forward anyway.

I'm not telling you to abandon anybody or stop being an active partner. Talk to the people in your life. But there is a point where you have to be a little selfish, because no one's going to build it for you.

How do I prove voice acting is worth it to my family?

You have to prove two things. You have to prove it works, and you have to prove you're not going to quit.

I don't love that we have to prove ourselves to people. But we do. I think that's just who we are.

The quitting part matters more than people think. Voiceover wasn't the only thing I ever tried. I had a cafe, and I tried other businesses too, and a lot of it did not work. Honestly that was my fault, I just wasn't good at it. So the people around me had seen me start things and stop. That makes it harder for anybody to believe the next one is going to stick.

You can't prove it by quitting. Well, you do prove something by quitting. It's just not what you want to prove.

And it does get better. As I kept doing this and things started to work, people changed. Once they see it starting to pay off, and they get used to it, it changes. Will Smith has a line about how nobody wanted to buy him dinner when he was broke, and now everybody does. That one stuck with me.

How long does it take to build a voice over business?

Most businesses take three to five years before they really make anything. I didn't make that number up. It's been well known for a long time. Someone in the chat said three to four years of time sucking and money sucking for training and equipment, and that's about right.

I know we all want everything now. I'm the same way. Sometimes the hardest part is that you start questioning yourself. Maybe this only works for other people. It does work. You just have to keep going long enough to show it.

How do I balance voice over work and family time?

You can get carried away in this to where you never leave the booth. One thing that was hard for us was when I stopped going to bed at the same time as my spouse because I was staying up later working. It was a real adjustment.

What helped was knowing which times are family time and which times are work time, and making sure my family knows too. When I'm building something big, like the recent work on Academy Voices, I go back to longer hours. But they know when dad's working, and I know when I need to be with them. My studio is right out back now, which is a lot better than packing blankets. It took years and years to get here.

Why don't to-do lists make people successful?

I can give you a list of everything you need to do to be successful in voiceover. A lot of people can. Is that list correct? Absolutely, it is. So if the list works, why aren't more people successful?

Same thing with self-help books. If one of them worked, why would there be millions of them?

I think it comes down to our own situations and how we handle them. The stress, the arguments at home, the bills. That's what decides if you're in a place where you can actually do the things on the list. I used to think if I could just turn off my stress and do what I needed to do every day, I'd be fine. When I found a rhythm with that, and accepted the hard parts instead of fighting them, it changed everything for me.

Is building a voice over business worth it?

For me, yes. I used to wake up every single morning thinking I needed to be doing something different. Ever since I started this business about ten years ago, I have never woken up one morning thinking I should be doing anything else. That's the biggest change for me. Bigger than any of the other stuff.

If you know that nagging feeling, you know what I'm talking about. And there's nothing like when it goes away.

It also helps a lot to have people around you who are going through the same thing and aren't judging you. I've built so many long-term friendships in VO Journey Academy with people I've never met in person. There's a lot more to this business than booking jobs.

If you want to see what that's like, come to Free Class Week, 12 to 15 October. It's free. You get four live classes, an acting class, a marketing class, a duet Script Workout and Angela's Launch Pad class.

You can also catch the podcast, where a lot of these lives end up.

Questions people ask about family and a voice over business

My spouse thinks voice acting is a waste of money. What should I say?

Tell them you understand why they're worried, because the money going out is real. Then show them what you're building and how long it normally takes. Most businesses take three to five years to make money.

Should I quit voice acting if my partner doesn't support it?

That's your call, and some situations do need a change of direction. But if this is what you wake up wanting to do, quitting won't prove anything you want to prove. Talk it through and protect your family time.

Will my family come around eventually?

In my experience, yes. Once they see it working and see that you're sticking with it, it changes.

Keep your head up. You can do this.

Anthony