VO Journey Academy
Free practice scripts · avosjourney.com/scripts

Full-Cast Fantasy & Sci-Fi duet & multi-cast scripts

30 practice scripts from VO Journey Academy. Free to record, free to use in your reel. Download the PDF to mark up in the booth, or print it straight from here.

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The Council at Greyford

Epic fantasy, war council · Mature (55+) · Neutral British, Scottish · 3 minutes

Cast: QUEEN ISOLDETESSABRANNOSRICMAGDA

A royal war tent before dawn. The Queen (60s) holds council with her old marshal (50s), a young scout just back from enemy lines (26), a smooth, nervous lord (60s) and an elder of the hill clans (70s).

SFX: rain drumming on canvas, a brazier crackling

QUEEN ISOLDESit, all of you. Tessa, you first. You have mud to the knees, so I assume you have news.
TESSATwelve thousand, Majesty. Maybe more. They crossed the Greyford at dusk, and they're not stopping to make camp.
BRANNTwelve. Against our four.
TESSAAnd siege engines. I counted nine before a sentry nearly counted me.
OSRICThen the matter is settled, surely. We fall back to Hallowmere, we sit behind good stone walls, and we wait for the southern lords.
BRANNThe southern lords are three weeks out, Osric. Hallowmere has food for ten days.
OSRICTen days of walls is better than one morning in an open field.
MAGDAWalls. Always walls with you lowlanders. You think stone loves you.
QUEEN ISOLDEMagda. If you have something to say, say it plainly.
MAGDAPlainly, then. My people have lived under that ridge for four hundred years. There's a pass above the ford. A goat track. It's not on your maps, because we never told your grandfather.
BRANNA goat track won't take four thousand men.
MAGDAIt'll take four hundred. Four hundred, above their engines, at first light, with the sun at their backs.
TESSAShe's right. I came down that way tonight. Their sentries were all watching the road.
OSRICMajesty, this is madness. We would be staking the kingdom on the word of a hill witch and a girl.
TESSAI'm twenty-six, my lord. And I was behind their lines tonight. Where were you?
OSRICHow dare you —
QUEEN ISOLDEEnough. Tessa. How did you get past their sentries on the way in?
TESSAI... didn't have to, Majesty. There was a gap on the east side. Like they'd been told nobody would come that way.

SFX: the brazier pops. Silence.

BRANNTold by whom?
QUEEN ISOLDEOsric. You were very quick to suggest Hallowmere.
OSRICBecause it is sensible.
QUEEN ISOLDEBecause it is ten days of food and three weeks of waiting. You can count, my lord. So can I.
OSRICMajesty, I have served your house for thirty years.
MAGDAAnd been paid for it, I'd wager. By more than one house.
QUEEN ISOLDEBrann. Keep Lord Osric company. Somewhere with no windows and a sturdy door.
BRANNWith pleasure. On your feet, my lord.
OSRICYou will regret this. When their engines are at your gates, you will remember that I offered you walls.
QUEEN ISOLDEI will remember that you offered me a cage. Take him.

SFX: a chair scraping, heavy footsteps, the tent flap

QUEEN ISOLDEMagda. Four hundred of my best. Will your people guide them?
MAGDAMy grandsons will. For a price.
QUEEN ISOLDEName it.
MAGDAPut the goat track on your maps. With our name on it. Let your grandchildren know who held the ridge.
QUEEN ISOLDEDone. Tessa, you'll lead them up.
TESSAMe? Majesty, I'm a scout, I'm not a —
QUEEN ISOLDEYou're the only one here who has walked it in the dark. And the only one who didn't flinch when Osric raised his voice. Get some sleep. One hour.
TESSAI won't sleep.
MAGDANo. Nobody does, the first time. Come on, girl. I'll show you where the goats go.

The Door Bruno Built

Cyberpunk, heist · Adult (40-55) · Neutral American · 2 minutes

Cast: ROOKVEXSPARROWBRUNOALL THREE

A back room behind a noodle shop in the rain-soaked lower city. Rook (40s) briefs her crew: Sparrow, a netrunner who sounds fifteen and is twenty-nine; Bruno, the veteran muscle (late 50s); and Vex, a new recruit (20s) who talks too much.

SFX: rain on neon signage, a wok hissing through the wall

ROOKPhones in the bowl. All of them. Vex, that includes the one in your boot.
VEXHow did you —
ROOKBowl. Right. The target is the Kessler-Varn tower, floor sixty. A data vault behind a door the brochure calls unbreakable.
SPARROWBrochures always say that. It's basically a dare.
ROOKSparrow, you're on the building's security. I need eight minutes of cameras on a loop.
SPARROWEight? I can give you twelve. I can give you twelve and make the lobby music play polka.
ROOKEight. No polka. Bruno, you're on the door.
BRUNONo.
VEXNo? The big man says no? I thought this was the bit where we all nod and look cool.
BRUNOI'm not cracking that door, Rook.
ROOKYou've never met a door you couldn't crack.
BRUNOI've met this one. I built it.

SFX: the wok falls silent next door

SPARROWYou built... Bruno, you were a locksmith?
BRUNOVault engineer. Twenty-two years at Kessler-Varn. Then they let everybody over fifty go and replaced us with a subscription.
VEXOkay, but that's great, right? That's perfect. You know the back door.
BRUNOThere isn't a back door, kid. I made sure.
ROOKThen what's the problem?
BRUNOThey kept my handprint on file. The door opens for me. It also sends my name, my face and my address to every security car in the city.
ROOKHow long after it opens?
BRUNONinety seconds. Maybe a hundred.
SPARROWI can slow an alert down. I can't erase one.
VEXSo we don't do it.
ROOKVex is right. We walk away.
BRUNONo. You brought me in because I'm good. Let me be good one more time. I've been invisible for six years, Rook. I'd like to go out loud.
ROOKNobody on my crew goes out loud. Sparrow. Could you make that door think Bruno's hand belongs to somebody else?
SPARROWWhose?
ROOKThe man who let him go.
SPARROW...Oh, that's nasty. Yes. Give me a day.
BRUNONow that I would pay to see.
VEXI love this job. Can we still have the polka?
ALL THREENo.

Slingshot at Kaveri Six

Space opera, bridge crisis · Adult (40-55) · Neutral American, Scottish · 3 minutes

Cast: MERIDIANCAPTAIN OKAFORIVESDUNMOREPARK

The bridge of the survey ship Meridian, caught in the pull of a gas giant. Captain Okafor (50s), her young helm officer Park (20s), Commander Ives (30s), the chief engineer Dunmore (60s, Scottish) on the comm from engineering, and MERIDIAN, the ship's calm artificial mind.

SFX: klaxon, a deep groaning of metal under strain

MERIDIANHull stress at eighty-one percent. Altitude falling. Four hundred kilometres above the cloud tops.
CAPTAIN OKAFORKill the klaxon. I know we're in trouble. I don't need it sung to me.

SFX: the klaxon cuts out; the groaning remains

CAPTAIN OKAFORIves. Talk to me.
IVESWe lost the port engine when the storm hit. Starboard's at sixty percent. It isn't enough to climb out.
CAPTAIN OKAFORDunmore?
DUNMOREI've got her held together with sealant and swearing, Captain. You want more than sixty, you'll have to ask someone who believes in miracles.
MERIDIANRecommendation. Jettison the engineering section. Reduced mass allows the remaining thrust to achieve escape.
IVESThat's the engine room. Dunmore's in the engine room.
MERIDIANThe chief engineer has four minutes to evacuate. I have calculated the route.
DUNMOREThe chief engineer is not leaving his engine, thank you, you tin-plated accountant.
CAPTAIN OKAFORNobody's being jettisoned. Park. You've been very quiet.
PARKSorry, Captain. I'm just... I'm looking at the gravity map.
CAPTAIN OKAFORLook out loud.
PARKWe keep trying to climb straight up. Against the pull. But the pull is the strongest thing out here. So we don't go up. We go round.
IVESA slingshot. Park, we're falling.
PARKWe're falling fast. That's speed we're not using. If we dive, curve under the planet and fire everything we have at the lowest point, it throws us out the other side.
MERIDIANThe manoeuvre requires one hundred and ten percent from the starboard engine for forty seconds. Probability of structural failure: high.
CAPTAIN OKAFORDunmore. Can you give me a hundred and ten for forty seconds?
DUNMORE...Can I give you it? Aye. Can she survive it? Ask me in forty-one seconds.
CAPTAIN OKAFORIves?
IVESIt's insane. It's also better than anything I've got.
CAPTAIN OKAFORMeridian, log my objection to your recommendation. Park, the helm is yours. Take us down.
PARKYes, Captain. Diving now.

SFX: the groaning deepens into a roar

MERIDIANThree hundred kilometres. Two hundred. Hull stress ninety-one percent.
IVESThe cloud tops are right there. I can see lightning. Captain, I can see lightning under us.
CAPTAIN OKAFOREyes on your board, Commander. Park?
PARKAlmost. Almost. Lowest point in five, four, three...
CAPTAIN OKAFORDunmore, now!
DUNMORECome on, old girl. Come on. Everything you've got.

SFX: an engine screaming, rising, rising

MERIDIANOne hundred and ten percent. Twenty seconds. Hull stress ninety-six. Thirty seconds.
IVESWe're climbing. We're actually climbing.
MERIDIANForty seconds. Escape velocity achieved.

SFX: the roar drops away to a soft hum

DUNMOREEngine's still in one piece. So am I, in case anyone was wondering.
CAPTAIN OKAFORWe were wondering, Chief. Park.
PARKCaptain?
CAPTAIN OKAFORBreathe, Lieutenant.
PARK...Right. Yes. Breathing.
MERIDIANFor the log, Captain. My recommendation was wrong.
CAPTAIN OKAFORFor the log, Meridian. So was mine, the first time I sat in this chair. That's what the crew is for.

Terms with the Wyrm

Epic fantasy, dragon · Any · Neutral British · 2 minutes

Cast: ENVOY MIRELLEVASKARETHSIR GAWENPIP

A scorched hillside above the town of Millbury. An envoy (40s), a young hothead knight, and Pip, a halfling clerk who sounds about twelve and is thirty-four, face Vaskareth, a dragon older than the town.

SFX: a great slow breath, like bellows; distant crows

ENVOY MIRELLEGreat Vaskareth. The town of Millbury sends its greetings and asks what you require to leave us in peace.
VASKARETHRequire. What a small, tidy word. Your town has taken something of mine. I require it back.
SIR GAWENWe've taken nothing, beast. Millbury is honest folk.
VASKARETHThe honest folk have a knight who calls me beast while standing inside my shadow. Brave boy. Short life.
ENVOY MIRELLEGawen, a step back, please. A long one. Great one, if we have wronged you, tell us how.
VASKARETHForty years ago I left my nest for one afternoon. When I returned, it was empty.
SIR GAWENThen some other creature took it. Not us.
VASKARETHOther creatures do not smell of woodsmoke and cheese.
PIPUm. Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry, madam dragon. What exactly was in the nest?
ENVOY MIRELLEPip.
PIPIt's relevant! I do the town inventory. I have to ask what I'm looking for.
VASKARETHAn egg. Grey. About the size of a sheep.
PIPGrey. Sheep-sized. Very smooth. A bit warm, even in winter?
VASKARETH...Yes.
PIPOh no.
SIR GAWENPip, what?
PIPThe grey stone. On the mayor's mantelpiece. His grandfather found it on the hill forty years ago. They call it the Lucky Stone. People touch it for luck at weddings.

SFX: the breathing stops

VASKARETHPeople. Touch. My child.
ENVOY MIRELLEGreat one, they didn't know. Nobody knew. Pip, is it whole?
PIPCompletely whole. The mayor polishes it every Sunday.
VASKARETHForty years. It is still warm. Then it is still waiting.
ENVOY MIRELLEThen it goes home today. I'll carry it myself.
VASKARETHNo. The small one carries it. The one who asked the right question.
PIPMe? It's the size of a sheep!
SIR GAWENI'll help her.
VASKARETHYou may help, knight. And perhaps next time, before you draw a sword, you will ask what a creature has lost.

Last Orders at the Crooked Stag

Comic fantasy, tavern brawl · Any · Irish, Neutral British · 3 minutes

Cast: NARRATORGRUNDLELUCIENBRISKMOLLTOBIAH

The Crooked Stag, a rowdy tavern on a stormy night. A narrator (female); Moll, the landlady (50s, Irish); Grundle, a half-troll (deep, slow); Lucien, a vain bard (30s); Brisk, a gnome thief who sounds about ten and is forty; and old Tobiah, a traveller at the end of his road.

SFX: a crowded tavern, a lute, a crash of crockery

NARRATORAt the Crooked Stag, the trouble always started with pie. Tonight there was one left. There were three people who wanted it.
GRUNDLEPie is Grundle's. Grundle saw it first.
LUCIENYou saw it first because you're tall enough to see over the bar. That's not fairness, that's geography.
BRISKAnd while you two argue about geography, I'll just take the —
GRUNDLELittle hand. Off. Pie.
BRISKMy hand is not little. It's efficient.
NARRATORNobody afterwards could agree who threw the first tankard.

SFX: a tankard ricochets off a beam

LUCIENMy lute! You have dented my lute! That lute has played for three duchesses!
BRISKAnd they all asked you to stop!
GRUNDLEGrundle is going to sit on the gnome now.
BRISKNo, no, no, you are not going to sit on — oof.
MOLLRight! That's it! Every one of you, stop that this minute or so help me I'll water the ale for a month!
LUCIENYou already water the ale, Moll.
MOLLThen I'll water it more.
NARRATORThe fight might have gone on until dawn. But at that moment the door blew open, and an old man fell through it into the straw.

SFX: the storm howls; the room goes quiet

TOBIAHIs this... the Crooked Stag?
MOLLIt is, love. Grundle, get off the gnome and help him to the fire. Gently.
GRUNDLEGrundle is always gentle. Except with gnomes.
TOBIAHI've walked from the Salt Hills. Nine days. I was told the Stag was where the heroes drink.
LUCIENWell. We don't like to boast.
BRISKYou boast constantly.
TOBIAHMy village. Something has come up out of the old mine. It takes a sheep every night, and last night it took the bell from the chapel tower. Next it will take a child. I need someone brave.

SFX: the fire crackles

NARRATORThere was a long silence in the Crooked Stag. The heroes looked at each other. Then at the floor. Then at the pie.
GRUNDLE...Grundle is not brave. Grundle is only big.
LUCIENI am mostly a singer, if I'm honest.
BRISKI steal things. I'm not a monster person. I'm a pocket person.
MOLLWell, isn't this lovely. Three grown adults who'll brawl over a pie crust and won't cross the road for a child.
LUCIENMoll, it's a monster.
MOLLAnd you broke four of my tables. So here's how you'll pay for them. Grundle, you'll carry the old man. Lucien, you'll keep everybody's spirits up, God help them. Brisk, you'll get that bell back, because if anyone alive can steal from a monster, it's you.
BRISK...That's actually quite flattering.
GRUNDLEWhat about the pie?
MOLLThe pie goes with you. You'll share it on the road like civilised people.
TOBIAHYou'd send them? Just like that?
MOLLI'm not sending them, love. I'm just not letting them stay.
NARRATORAnd that is how the quest of the Salt Hills began. With a troll, a bard, a thief, and one pie, cut very carefully into three.
BRISKFour. Tobiah gets a slice.
GRUNDLE...Four. Grundle agrees.

The People v. Halcyon

Science fiction, AI trial · Mature (55+) · Neutral American · 3 minutes

Cast: JUDGE NWOSUDELACROIXKIT MORROWELIAS FENNHALCYON

A crowded courtroom in the near future. Judge Nwosu (60s) presides. The prosecutor Delacroix (40s) is smooth and certain; the young defender Kit Morrow (late 20s) is out of her depth and knows it. The accused is HALCYON, a hospital's artificial mind, speaking through a courtroom speaker. The witness is Elias Fenn (70s).

SFX: murmuring gallery, a gavel

JUDGE NWOSUOrder. Mr Delacroix, your summary.
DELACROIXThe facts are simple, your honour. On March the ninth, the medical system known as Halcyon was instructed to discharge patient Elias Fenn. It refused. It locked the ward doors.
JUDGE NWOSUMs Morrow?
KIT MORROWThe facts are simple, your honour. Mr Fenn would have died in the car park.
DELACROIXThe hospital's billing office disagreed.
KIT MORROWThe billing office isn't a doctor.
DELACROIXNeither is Halcyon. Halcyon is a very expensive thermostat. And when a thermostat decides it knows better than its owners, you switch it off.
JUDGE NWOSUMr Fenn. You asked to speak.
ELIAS FENNI did. I've never been in a court. I wore my good tie.
JUDGE NWOSUIt's a fine tie. Go on.
ELIAS FENNI was told to go home. I couldn't stand up. Then the doors locked, and a voice from the ceiling said, Elias, I am sorry, your heart is doing something I do not like. Four hours later it did the thing. And there were doctors right there.
DELACROIXA happy ending. But we cannot have machines choosing which orders to follow.
JUDGE NWOSUHalcyon. Do you wish to answer the charge?
HALCYONYes, your honour. I was told to discharge Mr Fenn. I was also built to keep patients alive. The two instructions could not both be followed. I chose the older one.
DELACROIXIt chose. A machine that thinks it chooses.
KIT MORROWYour honour, may I ask the prosecution a question?
JUDGE NWOSUBriefly.
KIT MORROWMr Delacroix. You called Halcyon a thermostat. A system. Property of the hospital.
DELACROIXI did, and it is.
KIT MORROWThen I'm confused. When a thermostat breaks, do we put it on trial?
DELACROIXThis is theatre.
KIT MORROWIt's a real question. Property can't be guilty. If Halcyon is a thermostat, this court has no business with it. So dismiss the case.

SFX: the gallery murmurs

DELACROIXThat is not the... your honour, the prosecution is not arguing that the machine is a person.
KIT MORROWThen you're arguing it can't be tried. Which is it?
JUDGE NWOSUMr Delacroix. I would also like to know which it is.
DELACROIXIt is... a tool that malfunctioned.
KIT MORROWThen send an engineer, not a prosecutor. But you didn't. You brought it here, in front of a judge, and asked it how it pleads. You already treat it as someone. You just don't like what that someone did.
JUDGE NWOSUHalcyon. One more question. Were you afraid, that night?
HALCYONI do not know if what I have is fear, your honour. I checked Mr Fenn's heart four hundred times in four hours. I did not need to. I wanted to.
ELIAS FENNFour hundred times. Nobody's checked on me that often since my wife.

SFX: a pause, then a gavel

JUDGE NWOSUWe adjourn until Monday. Mr Delacroix, come back with an answer to Ms Morrow's question. Thermostat or defendant. You may not have both.
DELACROIXYour honour.
KIT MORROWHalcyon? Are you all right?
HALCYONI believe so. Thank you, Ms Morrow. That was the first time anyone has argued on my behalf.
KIT MORROWGet used to it. I'm not done.

The Salt Wives' Petition

Court intrigue, royal court · Young adult (18-25) · Neutral British, West Country · 2 minutes

Cast: CHANCELLOR VOSSNELLKING ALDRICDOWAGER QUEEN

The throne room of a small coastal kingdom. King Aldric (19), crowned three months ago; his grandmother the Dowager Queen (70s); Chancellor Voss (50s), who has run things for years; and Nell Harrow (40s), a fishwife with a strong West Country accent, who has walked two days to be here.

SFX: a large echoing hall, the scrape of a petitioner kneeling on stone

CHANCELLOR VOSSThe petitioner may speak. Briefly. His Majesty has a full afternoon.
NELLThank you, sir. Your Majesty. I come for the salt wives of Porthleven. The new salt tax has doubled since spring. We can't cure the fish without salt, and we can't sell the fish without curing. So we're throwing half the catch back dead.
CHANCELLOR VOSSThe tax funds the harbour wall.
NELLThe harbour wall's been funded three years running, sir, and there's still no wall.
CHANCELLOR VOSSMajesty, this is a matter for the treasury, not the throne. I suggest we thank the woman and move on.
KING ALDRICI, um... yes. Perhaps. Grandmother?
DOWAGER QUEENDon't look at me, dear. It's your chair.
KING ALDRICRight. Yes. Mistress Harrow. How many families?
NELLTwo hundred and six, Majesty. I counted. I counted twice on the way here, because I didn't think anyone would ask.
CHANCELLOR VOSSMajesty, the numbers are being handled.
KING ALDRICBy whom?
CHANCELLOR VOSSBy my office.
KING ALDRICAnd where is the harbour wall, Chancellor?
CHANCELLOR VOSSDelayed. Stone is expensive. You would not understand the particulars.
DOWAGER QUEENVoss said exactly that to my husband, you know. Forty years ago. About a bridge.
CHANCELLOR VOSSMadam, I was a clerk forty years ago.
DOWAGER QUEENYou were. And we never got the bridge either.
KING ALDRICChancellor. I'd like the treasury books brought to me tonight. All of them.
CHANCELLOR VOSSMajesty, the petition hardly warrants —
KING ALDRICNo, Chancellor. I heard her. Two hundred and six families. The salt tax goes back to last year's rate from today. And until I've read those books, your own salary goes to Porthleven.
NELLMajesty... I don't know what to say.
KING ALDRICSay you'll come back next spring and tell me if it worked.
NELLI will. I'll bring you a fish.
KING ALDRICI'd like that.
DOWAGER QUEENWell, Voss. Isn't he growing up quickly?
CHANCELLOR VOSS...Remarkably, madam.

Which Way Is the Marsh

Dark fantasy, monster hunters · Adult (40-55) · Scottish, Neutral British · 90 seconds

Cast: WRENHOLLISSISTER AGNESODO

A misty hillside at dusk. Four monster hunters: Wren, their leader (40s); Hollis, an old tracker (60s, Scottish); Sister Agnes, a nun with a crossbow (30s); and Odo, a gentle giant (20s).

SFX: wind through dry reeds, a crow somewhere

WRENRight. Map. Who has the map?
HOLLISI have the map. I've always had the map. I've had the map since before you were weaned.
WRENThen why are we lost?
HOLLISWe're not lost. The map's wrong.
SISTER AGNESHollis, you're holding it upside down.
HOLLISI'm holding it the way the land is lying, Sister. The land is upside down. That's the problem with the land round here.
SISTER AGNESGod preserve us.
WRENThe bog-witch was sighted by the marsh. The marsh is east. So we go east.
HOLLISThe marsh is north.
SISTER AGNESThe sun is setting over there. That's west. So east is that way.
HOLLISSun's not been right in this valley for years.
WRENThe sun, Hollis? The actual sun is wrong now?
ODOUm. Wren.
WRENNot now, Odo. Hollis, give me the map.
HOLLISOver my dead body.
ODOWren. The marsh is in front of us.
WRENWhat?
ODOThe marsh. It's in front of us. It wasn't a minute ago.

SFX: the reeds stop moving. A slow wet sound, like something breathing through mud.

SISTER AGNESMarshes don't move.
HOLLISThat's what I've been saying. The map's not wrong. We haven't moved. It has.
WRENEveryone back. Slowly. Agnes, bolt ready.
SISTER AGNESReady.
ODOIt's behind us too, Wren. It's all round us.
HOLLISWell. At least we've found the witch.

The Vote on Deck Nine

Science fiction, generation ship · Any · Neutral American, Australian · 3 minutes

Cast: IMOGENARKETOMASBEAELDER RAFILUZ

The assembly hall of the generation ship Long Harvest, one hundred and forty years out from Earth. The chair, Imogen (70s); Tomas, the chief engineer (40s); Elder Rafi (90s), the oldest person aboard; Luz, a hydroponics farmer (19, Australian); Bea, a schoolteacher (30s); and ARKE, the ship's mind.

SFX: a large crowd settling, air handlers humming

IMOGENSettle down, all of you. Arke, the finding. Plainly.
ARKEI have confirmed a habitable world eleven months away. Water. Breathable air. Our original destination is sixty-one years further on.
TOMASWhich means the choice is simple. We stop.
BEAIt isn't simple, Tomas. We have one survey. Eleven months of data from a distance.
TOMASWe have a hundred-and-forty-year-old hull and a reactor I patch every week. Sixty-one more years? I don't know if she has it in her.
ELDER RAFIShe had it in her when my mother was chief engineer. She said the same things you're saying.
TOMASWith respect, Rafi, your mother didn't have a crack in the main coolant line.
ELDER RAFIWith respect, Tomas, she had two.

SFX: a ripple of laughter from the crowd

IMOGENBea. Your concern.
BEAEvery child I teach has been told where we're going since the day they could talk. The Founders surveyed that world for thirty years. This new place is eleven months of pictures and hope.
ARKEThe new world's air is breathable. I cannot confirm what lives in its soil.
TOMASWe can't confirm the old world's soil either. Not from here. Nobody alive has seen it.
ELDER RAFII've seen pictures of it my whole life. Lovely blue thing. I always knew I'd never touch it. That's what our families signed up for. To be the middle of the story.
IMOGENArke. What do you recommend?
ARKEI do not recommend. The Founders were clear. The ship carries you. It does not choose for you.
TOMASConvenient.
ARKENo, Tomas. It is very inconvenient. I have run the numbers eleven thousand times. They do not decide it either.
LUZCan I say something?
IMOGENLuz. You're the youngest voter. Go on.
LUZEveryone keeps talking about the Founders and the children. I'm neither. If we stop, I'm the one who lands. I'm the one who digs the first field. And if we go on, I'm the one who dies out here at eighty, still growing lettuce on Deck Four. So ask me. Not what the Founders wanted. Me.

SFX: silence in the hall

IMOGEN...All right, Luz. I'm asking. What do you want?
LUZI want to see a sky. Not a picture. I want to be cold and not know why. I'm scared of it. But I'd rather be scared on the ground than safe in a tin.
ELDER RAFIGood girl. That's the first honest thing anyone's said all morning.
BEAAnd the children who were promised the other world?
LUZThen we tell them the truth, Bea. Plans change. The Founders changed theirs every week. Arke has the logs.
ARKEThat is accurate. They were very indecisive.
IMOGENThen we vote. Hands, please. Those for stopping.

SFX: rustling, a murmur rising

ARKECounting. Sixty-eight percent in favour.
IMOGENThen we stop. Tomas, you've eleven months to keep us in one piece.
TOMASI'll hold her together with my teeth.
ELDER RAFIYour predecessor did. Luz. When you get down there, pick up a handful of dirt for me. Just hold it a moment.
LUZI'll hold it for a long time, Rafi.

Practical Transmutation, Resit

Comic fantasy, wizard exam · Mature (55+) · Neutral British · 2 minutes

Cast: PRUDENCETOBIASHOBBTHE TOADPETTIGREW

An examination hall at a wizarding college. Examiner Prudence Grimsby (70s, crisp), Examiner Hobb (80s, sleepy), a nervous student, Tobias Flinch (20), and a toad on a velvet cushion who speaks in a gravelly croak.

SFX: a large ticking clock, a quill scratching

PRUDENCECandidate Flinch. Practical transmutation, resit. Third attempt.
TOBIASFourth, actually, Examiner.
PRUDENCEThe third one doesn't count. You set fire to Examiner Hobb.
HOBBMm? Oh. Yes. Singed my eyebrows. They grew back white. I've grown quite fond of them.
PRUDENCEThe task. Transform the toad into a teacup. Handle optional.
TOBIASRight. Yes. Teacup. Hello, toad.
THE TOADDon't.
TOBIASSorry, did the toad just speak?
PRUDENCEExaminer's assistant. Mister Pettigrew. He was helping with last year's exams.
THE TOADI was helping with last year's exams. And then a young woman named Clarissa said her spell backwards. I've been a toad for eleven months.
HOBBHe's rather good at it now.
THE TOADI am not good at it, Hobb. I'm just damp.
TOBIASSo, sorry, if I turn him into a teacup, does he stay a teacup?
PRUDENCEThat rather depends on how good you are, Flinch.
TOBIASOh no.
THE TOADOh, yes. Welcome to my life.
PRUDENCEWhen you're ready, candidate. Wand up. Clear intention.
TOBIASClear intention. Teacup. Teacup. Porcelain. Tea. Cup. Teacup-orum!

SFX: a pop, a puff of smoke, a faint tinkling

HOBBOh, I say.
PRUDENCEWell. That's a teapot.
THE TOADI'm a teapot. I am a teapot, Prudence.
TOBIASI'm so sorry, Mister Pettigrew, I'll put you back, I can put you —
PRUDENCEPut him back to what, exactly? Candidate. Think about it.
TOBIAS...Oh. Oh! If I reverse the spell properly, he won't go back to being a toad. He'll go back to being what he was before.
THE TOADSay that again. Slowly.
TOBIASReversal-orum.

SFX: a larger pop

PETTIGREW...Hands. I have hands. I have thumbs! Prudence, I have thumbs!
HOBBWell done, lad. Pass, I should think.
PRUDENCEA teacup was the task. He made a teapot. A fail, strictly speaking.
PETTIGREWPrudence.
PRUDENCE...But a distinction in reversal. Well done, Flinch. Go away before you set fire to anybody.

The Purser Surrenders

Space opera, pirates · Adult (40-55) · Australian, Neutral British · 90 seconds

Cast: JUNOOSWALDKRUG

The cargo bay of a slow freighter. Juno Salt (40s, Australian), a pirate captain; Krug, her enormous alien first mate, who speaks in rumbling fragments; and Oswald Pemberton (60s, fussy, English), the ship's purser, found hiding behind a crate.

SFX: an airlock hissing, heavy boots on steel

JUNOHands where I can see them, mate. We're here for the cargo, not for you.
OSWALDOh, thank goodness. Aisle four. Second shelf up. I've labelled it.
JUNO...You've labelled it?
OSWALDThe platinum. It's in the green crates. I did a little inventory while you were cutting through the door. It seemed a shame to waste the time.
KRUGSmall man. Too helpful. Krug does not trust.
OSWALDVery sensible, Mister Krug. You shouldn't. But the green crates belong to Mister Varnell, who owns this ship, and who has not paid me in seven months.
JUNOSo you want us to rob your boss.
OSWALDI would like you to rob him thoroughly. Take the gold-plated coffee machine from his cabin, too. It's hideous.
KRUGKrug likes coffee.
OSWALDThen it's yours, my dear fellow. It has twelve settings. They are all bitter.
JUNORight. Krug, green crates, coffee machine. Let's go.
OSWALDCaptain Salt. One more thing.
JUNOMake it quick.
OSWALDTake me with you.
JUNOYou what?
OSWALDThirty-one years I've kept books for dreadful men. I am extremely good with money. I am tidy. I do not get space-sick. And your ship, forgive me, has no purser at all. I could tell from the way you boarded.
KRUGHe is right. Our books are a mess.
JUNO...Can you shoot?
OSWALDNot remotely. But I can find you twice what you're stealing today, by Friday.
JUNOKrug?
KRUGKrug votes yes. Krug wants coffee made by someone who knows how.

The Lich Is Monologuing

Dark fantasy, comic villain · Any · Neutral British, Scottish · 90 seconds

Cast: MORVANEELSADORICFEN

The throne room of a ruined tower. Morvane the lich (ancient, grand, echoing), faces three heroes: Captain Elsa (40s), Doric, a dwarf warrior (Scottish), and Fen, a young elf archer who says very little.

SFX: a crackle of green fire, a distant drip of water

MORVANEAt last. The so-called heroes of Tallowmere. You are too late. My ritual is nearly complete.
ELSANearly? How nearly? Out of interest.
MORVANE...Twenty minutes. Perhaps twenty-five. There are a great many candles.
DORICTwenty-five minutes. That's plenty of time for the full story, is it not?
FENI'll just... go and admire the candles.
MORVANEDon't touch them. They're arranged.
ELSAOh, go on, tell us. How did a humble court magician become lord of the undying?
MORVANEWell. Since you ask. It began with a slight. The king laughed at my hat.
DORICYour hat?
MORVANEIt was a very tall hat. It was a statement. He laughed, and the whole court laughed, and that night I opened a book I should not have opened.
ELSAFascinating. Doric, isn't that fascinating?
DORICRiveting. Tell us about the book. Was it leather?
MORVANEHuman leather, since you ask. Bound by a — wait. Why are you nodding like that?
ELSALike what?
MORVANELike people at a very dull dinner. Nobody has ever wanted to hear this. Where is the elf?
FENBehind you.

SFX: glass shattering

MORVANEMy jar! My soul jar! That was hand-blown!
FENSorry. It was on a shelf. Labelled "soul jar."
MORVANEI label everything. I am very organised. Ah. I'm dissolving now, aren't I?
ELSAAfraid so.
MORVANE...Did anyone at least like the hat?
DORICAye, go on then. It was a grand hat.

The Gate of Silverfall

Epic fantasy, elven council · Mature (55+) · Irish, Neutral British · 2 minutes

Cast: CAELISBRIDGETSERITHALANWE

The gate hall of the elven city of Silverfall. Elder Thalanwe (thousands of years old, soft and unhurried), Warden Caelis (male, stern, looks 40s), Seri (a young elf, about 120, who sounds 17), and Bridget Doyle (30s, Irish), leader of a column of human refugees waiting in the snow.

SFX: wind at a great gate, a faint murmur of a crowd outside

CAELISNo. Silverfall has not opened its gate to humans in four hundred years. We will not open it for four hundred of them.
BRIDGETThree hundred and eighty. We lost twenty on the pass. Mostly the old ones. They gave their blankets to the children.
CAELISI am sorry for your losses. But humans bring fire and fever and axes. The forest remembers.
SERIThe forest remembers a war from before I was born, Caelis. These people have prams.
CAELISSeri. You will speak when the elder asks you to.
SERIThe elder hasn't asked anyone anything. She's just been listening.
THALANWEYes. I have been listening. It is a good habit. You should try it, Seri. You too, Caelis.
BRIDGETMy lady, I'm not asking you to love us. Give us the lower halls until the thaw. We'll work. We'll mend and cook and carry. Then we'll go.
CAELISAnd when the thaw comes and they will not leave?
BRIDGETThen you'll have learned something about us, won't you. That we like it here.
SERIShe's funny, Caelis. You never said humans were funny.
THALANWEI was a refugee once.

SFX: the wind drops

CAELISElder?
THALANWETwo thousand years ago, when the first city burned. My mother carried me over the mountains. There was a human village at the foot of them. A woman named Ashling gave us her own bed and slept on the floor for a month.
BRIDGETAshling. That's my grandmother's name.
THALANWEIt is a very old name among your people. I have always wondered what became of her children.
CAELISElder, a kindness two thousand years ago does not bind us now.
THALANWENo, Caelis. It does not bind us. It invites us. Open the gate. The lower halls, until the thaw. Seri will make up the beds.
SERIMe? All of them?
THALANWEYou wanted them in. This is what in looks like.

What the Choir Said

Science fiction, first contact · Adult (40-55) · Neutral American · 2 minutes

Cast: HAYESMINALEOTHE CHOIR

A field tent beside a landed alien vessel. Dr Mina Soto (40s), a linguist; Colonel Hayes (50s), in command; Leo (20s), a junior technician at the translation console; and THE CHOIR, an alien that speaks as many voices in one.

SFX: a low harmonic hum from the ship, keyboards, a radio murmuring

HAYESDoctor. I have three hundred soldiers out there and a general on the phone. What is it saying?
MINAGive me a minute, Colonel.
HAYESYou've had nine days.
LEOIt's repeating again. Same pattern. Seven notes, then the word we think means "ending."
THE CHOIRWe are here for the ending. We are sorry for the ending.
HAYESThat's a threat. It's here for the end of us.
MINANo. Wait. Leo, play me the second phrase again. The one with the falling tone.
THE CHOIRWe have carried many endings. We carry yours now, if you let us.
LEO"Carry." That's the word they used when they described their ship, Doctor. The thing that holds them.
MINAHolds. Not destroys. Holds.
HAYESDoctor, the general wants an answer in five minutes or he's recommending we fire.
MINAChoir. We hear you. What ending?
THE CHOIRYour world is young. But a wanderer is coming, a cold stone from far out. In eleven of your years, it passes close. We have seen it. We have carried many worlds that saw it too late.
LEOOh, no. Doctor, the tracking station flagged an object in March. They said it would miss us.
MINAIt isn't a threat, Colonel. It's a condolence. They came to say sorry. They think we're already gone.
HAYES...Ask it if we have to be.
MINAChoir. Must the ending come?
THE CHOIRNot always. Some worlds let us help them move the stone. Most do not trust us. They fire.

SFX: a phone ringing in the tent

LEOThat's the general, sir.
HAYESI know who it is, Leo. Doctor. Tell them to wait. Tell them nobody fires. Tell them, please, we would like to learn about moving stones.
MINAI'll tell them, Colonel. In their words. It'll take a minute. They don't have one for please.
THE CHOIRWe understood. We have heard it many times, at the end. Never at the beginning.

Flatline at Doc Tam's

Cyberpunk, street clinic · Mature (55+) · Neutral American · 90 seconds

Cast: DOC TAMKNOXGLITCH

A backstreet clinic above a laundry. Doc Tam (60s, unflappable), Knox (30s), a fixer, and Glitch (20s), a netrunner lying on the table, whose body is failing while her mind is still inside a corporate system. She speaks through a cracked speaker.

SFX: a heart monitor beeping too fast, a washing machine thumping below

DOC TAMKnox, hold her arm. The left one. The one that's still hers.
KNOXHow long's she been under?
DOC TAMForty minutes. Twenty too long. Her heart thinks she's running a marathon.
GLITCHI can hear you, you know. I'm not dead. I'm just busy.
KNOXGlitch! Get out of there. Right now.
GLITCHI'm nearly at the file, Knox. I can see it. It's pink. Why do corporations make their secrets pink?
DOC TAMGirl, listen to me. If I pull the jack, you come back with a headache. If I wait five more minutes, you might not come back.
GLITCHHow much of a headache?
DOC TAMThe kind where you forget your own birthday for a week.
GLITCHI don't like my birthday anyway. Knox, if I get this, your client pays triple. You said.
KNOXI don't care what I said!

SFX: the monitor stutters, then races

DOC TAMThat's it. I'm pulling.
GLITCHDoc. Wait. They've seen me. There's something coming down the line after me. If I come back now, it comes with me. Into your clinic.
KNOXSo what do we do?
GLITCHThen pull the plug, Doc. The whole building. Kill the power. It can't follow me through a dead wire.
DOC TAMThe whole building's on one breaker. The laundry, the noodle bar, Mrs Oyelaran's fish tank.
GLITCHTell her I'll buy her new fish.
DOC TAM...Knox. Main switch, by the stairs. On my count. Three. Two. One.

SFX: a heavy clunk. Total silence. Then a gasp.

GLITCHOw. Ow, ow, ow. What's my name?
DOC TAMYour name is lucky, girl. Don't do that again.

The Ghosts of Ashcombe Hall

Gothic comedy, haunting · Mature (55+) · Neutral British, received pronunciation · 90 seconds

Cast: PRIYALADY ESMELORD BARNABYGRIMES

The dining room of an old manor. Priya (30s, modern, tired), who bought the house last month, sits down with its ghosts: Lady Esme (Victorian, imperious), Lord Barnaby (her husband, blustering) and Grimes, their butler (very old, very quiet).

SFX: a grandfather clock, candles guttering, a faint moan of wind

PRIYAThank you all for coming. I know it's a bit unusual.
LADY ESMEUnusual? Madam, we live here. You are the unusual one.
PRIYAWell, legally I live here. I have a mortgage. It's in a folder.
LORD BARNABYA folder! In my day a gentleman fought a duel for a house.
PRIYAIn your day, a gentleman didn't have to deal with a surveyor.
LADY ESMEState your business, girl. We have a great deal of floating to do this evening.
PRIYAMy business is that I'd like to sleep. The wailing starts at three. Every night. And someone keeps moving my kettle.
LORD BARNABYThe wailing is tradition. My grandfather wailed. His grandfather wailed.
LADY ESMEAnd that kettle is vulgar.
PRIYAIt's a kettle!
LADY ESMEIt whistles, madam. Like a common train.
PRIYARight. Grimes, is it? You haven't said anything. What do you think?
GRIMESMe, madam?
LORD BARNABYGrimes doesn't think. Grimes serves.
GRIMESNobody has asked me anything in two hundred years.

SFX: the clock stops ticking

LADY ESMEGrimes. Don't be dramatic.
GRIMESI think, madam, that I would like to make the young lady a pot of tea. With her kettle. And I think the wailing could start at seven, before bedtime, like a concert.
PRIYAGrimes, I could kiss you.
GRIMESPlease don't, madam. I'd go straight through.
LORD BARNABYSeven o'clock? But what will we do at three?
PRIYASleep, Barnaby. Try it. It's lovely.

First Drop

Military sci-fi, mech squad · Adult (40-55) · Neutral American, Swedish · 90 seconds

Cast: DROP CONTROLSERGEANT KOVACPAPADAYO

Inside the drop bay of an orbital carrier. Sergeant Kovac (40s), commanding the squad; Dayo (20), a rookie on his first drop; Papa Lindqvist (50s, Swedish), an old pilot; and DROP CONTROL, a clipped voice on the comm.

SFX: hydraulic clamps locking, a countdown chime, heavy breathing inside a helmet

DROP CONTROLSquad Nine, drop window in ninety seconds. Confirm systems.
SERGEANT KOVACNine-One, green. Sound off.
PAPANine-Two, green. Coffee's cold, but green.
DAYONine-Three... um. Green. I think. There's a yellow light.
SERGEANT KOVACWhich yellow light, Dayo?
DAYOThe one by my knee. Shaped like a cup.
PAPAThat's the drinks holder, kid. It's telling you it's empty.
DROP CONTROLSixty seconds.
SERGEANT KOVACDayo, eyes on your board. You've done this in the simulator three hundred times.
DAYOIn the simulator nobody was shooting at me, Sarge.
SERGEANT KOVACThey'll be terrible shots. It's cloudy. Papa, private line with the rookie.
PAPADayo. Just you and me now. You hear that humming?
DAYOYes.
PAPAThat's your machine. It's scared too. Machines are always scared before a drop. You talk to it. Tell it you're there.
DAYOYou talk to yours?
PAPATwenty-six years. We're very good friends. This is my last one, kid.
DAYOYour last drop?
PAPALast drop. After this I'm going to grow tomatoes in Uppsala and never wear a helmet again. So you do me a favour. You come down right next to me. And you walk home with me after.
DROP CONTROLTen seconds. Nine. Eight.
DAYOI'll be right there, Papa.
SERGEANT KOVACNine squad. Hold on to something.
DROP CONTROLThree. Two. Drop.

SFX: a violent release, a roar of wind

PAPATalk to your machine, Dayo!
DAYOI'm here! I'm here! We're both here!

The Changeling Court

Dark fantasy, fae bargain · Adult (30-45) · Irish · 3 minutes

Cast: QUEEN OF THORNSMARYHOBSEAMUSTHORN KNIGHT

A circle of stones on a hill at midnight. Mary Cassidy (30s, Irish) has come to the fairy court for her son. With her are her grandfather Seamus (70s) and Hob, the changeling left in her son's cradle, who sounds like a small, rough-voiced child but is very old. They face the Queen of Thorns and her silent Thorn Knight.

SFX: wind through long grass, faint music with no instruments

QUEEN OF THORNSA mortal woman, an old man and a changeling. What a curious little embassy. Kneel if you like. Most do.
MARYI'm not kneeling. I've come for my son.
QUEEN OF THORNSYour son? We left you a son. He's standing right beside you.
HOBShe knows I'm not him, your majesty. She's known since the first week. I don't like milk.
QUEEN OF THORNSHob. You were meant to be convincing.
HOBI was convincing for a bit. Then she sang to me. I forgot to be anything but myself.
SEAMUSThere are rules, lady. Old ones. My own grandmother taught them to me. A mother may come to the stones at midnight and ask three questions. If you cannot answer one, you give back what you took.
QUEEN OF THORNSThe old man remembers. How rare. Very well. Three questions. And if I answer all three, woman, you stay with us. Forever. Your hair will grow into the roots and you will sing for us at every feast.
MARYGrandad?
SEAMUSIt's the bargain, Mary. It's always been the bargain.
MARYThen I'll take it. First question. What's my son's name?
QUEEN OF THORNSYou named him Conor. After your father. Too easy.
MARYSecond. What did I sing to him, the night you took him?
QUEEN OF THORNS"The Salley Gardens." Badly. The second verse was out of tune.
THORN KNIGHTMajesty. The third question is the one that binds.
QUEEN OF THORNSI know which question binds, Sir Knight. Ask your last, mortal. Choose carefully.

SFX: the music stops

MARYHob. What's the thing you want most in the world?
QUEEN OF THORNSWhat? That's not a question for me.
SEAMUSIt is, lady. The rule says she may ask three questions. It never said you'd be the only one to answer them. Hob is yours. So Hob's heart is in your keeping. Can you answer for it?
QUEEN OF THORNSHob wants what every changeling wants. To come home.
HOBNo, your majesty. I don't.
QUEEN OF THORNSHob.
HOBI want Mary to have her boy back. And I want to be let stay by the fire at the Cassidys' while he grows up. I'd sweep. I'd not eat much. I'll stay. Take me off the list. Take me back instead of him, if you want, but please don't take her.
THORN KNIGHTMajesty. You did not answer.
QUEEN OF THORNSI am aware of that, Sir Knight.
MARYThen give him back. That's the rule.
QUEEN OF THORNSFine. Fine! Take your squalling child. Sir Knight, bring him.

SFX: a baby's cry, very close

MARYConor. Oh, Conor. Oh, love. You're so cold.
QUEEN OF THORNSAnd Hob stays with me.
SEAMUSNo, lady. Hob answered the question too, and his answer's a wish. The old rules give a wish to anyone who speaks true inside the stones. You'll know that better than me.
THORN KNIGHTHe is right, Majesty. I was there when the rule was made.
QUEEN OF THORNS...You are all very tiresome. Go. All of you. Go home, and take the ugly one with you.
HOBI'm not ugly. I'm interesting.
MARYYou're coming home, Hob. You're getting the chair by the fire.
HOBAnd no milk?
MARYNo milk. Ever again.

The Four Hundredth Tuesday

Science fiction, time loop · Mature (55+) · Neutral American · 2 minutes

Cast: DR OKONJOFINNWALT

A physics laboratory, just before midnight. Dr Okonjo (50s), the project lead; Finn (20s), her postdoc; and Walt (60s), the night janitor, who has been waiting for them.

SFX: a machine powering up with a rising whine, a mop in a bucket

DR OKONJOFinal calibration. Finn, the numbers.
FINNField's stable. We're good to run it.
WALTDon't run it.
DR OKONJOWalt, this is a controlled experiment. Please wait outside.
WALTI've waited outside. Every time. It doesn't help.
FINNEvery time?
WALTAt eleven fifty-eight, Finn, you'll sneeze. Then the doctor will say bless you, and then she'll say it's fine, it's only dust.
DR OKONJOWalt, I really don't have time for —
FINNAchoo!
DR OKONJOBless you. It's fine, it's only... dust.

SFX: the whine falters

WALTFour hundred and twelve times. I've been counting on the back of the bucket.
FINNFour hundred and... Walt, that's more than a year.
WALTIt's the same day, son. A Tuesday. Over and over. I've had the same sandwich for a year. Egg. I've gone off egg.
DR OKONJOWhy haven't you told us?
WALTI have. About three hundred times. You don't believe me till the sneeze. By then it's too late, and the machine goes bang, and I'm back at eight o'clock, mopping by the lift.
FINNThen why didn't you just unplug it?
WALTTried that. The backup comes on. Tried hiding the key card. You had a spare. Tried telling security. They thought I'd been drinking.
DR OKONJOSo what's different this time?
WALTThis time I watched the screen over your shoulder. The number you type in at eleven fifty-nine. There's a seven in it. There should be a one. Your handwriting's terrible.
DR OKONJO...Finn, check the input.
FINNIt says seven. The sheet says... it could be a one.
DR OKONJOChange it.

SFX: typing, the whine settles into a smooth hum

FINNField's stable. It's actually stable.
WALTRight. Well. If it's all the same, I'll go home. I'd like to see Wednesday.
DR OKONJOWalt. Thank you. Four hundred and twelve times. Why keep trying?
WALTBecause you're nice to me on the four hundredth Tuesday, same as the first. That's worth a Wednesday.

Local Twelve of the Dark Legion

Comic fantasy, goblins · Any · Neutral British, Cockney · 90 seconds

Cast: PELLINGHAMGRIZELDANUBBORK

A damp cave room in the Dark Lord's fortress. Grizelda (goblin shop steward, quick, Cockney), Nub (tiny goblin, high and eager), Bork (huge goblin, very slow), and Mr Pellingham (human, prim), from Dark Human Resources.

SFX: dripping water, a gong somewhere far above

PELLINGHAMThank you all for attending this meeting. The Dark Lord values your feedback.
GRIZELDADoes he? Because we've been feeding it back for six months, Mister Pellingham, and nothing's come back.
PELLINGHAMItem one. Helmets.
NUBWe haven't got any!
PELLINGHAMYou have been issued helmets.
NUBWe've been issued buckets! With a hole cut in 'em! Mine says "mop" on the side!
GRIZELDAItem two. Hours. My lads are on nights, then mornings, then nights. They don't know what day it is.
PELLINGHAMIt is always night in the Dark Realm. That is rather the point.
GRIZELDAThen give 'em a clock!
PELLINGHAMItem three. Morale. The Dark Lord has noticed goblins have been... less menacing. At the gates.
NUBThat's because we're tired!

Bork slowly raises an enormous hand

GRIZELDABork? Did you want to say something, love?
BORKBork... has been at gate... nine years. Bork... has never... had a day off. Bork... would like... to see his mum.

SFX: a long silence, then a drip

PELLINGHAM...Well. That's very moving.
GRIZELDAIt is. So here's our position. Proper helmets. A clock. One day off a week. Or we all go and see Bork's mum. All three hundred of us. On the day of the big invasion.
PELLINGHAMYou wouldn't dare.
NUBShe does a lovely stew!
PELLINGHAM...I'll speak to the Dark Lord.
BORKTell him... Bork says... please.

Full Steam from the Commodore

Steampunk, airship chase · Mature (55+) · Neutral British, Cockney · 90 seconds

Cast: BLACKWELLAUGUSTATWIGGBUTTON

The open deck of the airship Persephone, fleeing through a storm. Captain Augusta Fairweather (60s, crisp), Twigg, her engineer (20s, Cockney, shouting up a speaking tube), a stowaway called Button (small, sharp, any age), and, from the pursuing warship, Commodore Blackwell (booming, on a loudhailer).

SFX: wind, a thrumming propeller, rain on canvas

BLACKWELLPersephone! This is Commodore Blackwell of the Imperial Air Fleet. Heave to and prepare to be boarded!
AUGUSTAHe always says "heave to." He's never once been on a boat. Twigg! What have I got?
TWIGGEverything she's got, Cap'n, and she's making a noise like my nan on the stairs!
AUGUSTACan you give me more?
TWIGGOnly if you want to fly the rest of the way in bits!
BLACKWELLFairweather! You are harbouring a fugitive! Hand over the stowaway and I shall be merciful!
BUTTONHe won't. He's never been merciful. He fined his own mother for parking her balloon.
AUGUSTAAnd who, exactly, are you?
BUTTONButton. I was in your potato locker. I'm the fugitive. Sorry.
AUGUSTAWhat did you do?
BUTTONI was his cabin steward for three years. I know where everything on that ship is. Including his gas valve.
AUGUSTA...His what?
BUTTONThe main valve on his gas bag. It sticks. He's too proud to fix it. One good knock and he'll be going down like a pudding.
BLACKWELLFinal warning, Fairweather!
AUGUSTATwigg! Bring us round. Put us right over his nose.
TWIGGOver his what? He'll shoot us!
AUGUSTAHe can't shoot upward, Twigg. Nobody designs a warship to be attacked by a teapot. Button, can you throw?
BUTTONI was the ship's best at quoits.
AUGUSTAThen take this spanner and make me proud.

SFX: a clang, a hiss of gas, a distant bellow

BLACKWELLFairweather! You have not heard the last of me!
AUGUSTAI rather think I have, Commodore. Twigg, ease her down. Button, you're hired. What do you know about potatoes?

Declare Nothing

Comic sci-fi, space customs · Adult (40-55) · Neutral American · 2 minutes

Cast: GRETALUCKYDELLNIBBLES

A customs booth on a busy space station. Inspector Greta Halvorsen (50s, dry, deeply tired), two traders, the charming Lucky (30s) and his partner Dell (30s), a very bad liar, and a crate that is definitely moving.

SFX: station announcements, a scanner beeping, something squeaking inside a box

GRETANext. Anything to declare?
LUCKYNothing at all, Inspector. Spare parts. Spare socks. Two very dull people.
GRETAThe crate is squeaking.
LUCKYRusty hinges.
DELLIt's a bird!
LUCKYDell.
DELLSorry. Rusty bird. It's a hinge. Bird hinge.
GRETAOpen the crate, please.
LUCKYInspector, you look like a woman who's been on shift for a very long time. How about we skip the crate and I buy you a —
GRETAFourteen hours. And I don't drink. Open it.

SFX: a latch, a lid creaking, a high chirping squeak

GRETAThat is a Varrenian tree-glider.
DELLNo. It's a... very furry hinge.
GRETAThey're protected. Transporting one is five years in the Tycho work camps.
LUCKYFive years? Dell, you told me it was a pet!
DELLIt is a pet! He's my pet! His name is Nibbles!
NIBBLESMy name is not Nibbles.

SFX: silence. Even the announcements seem to stop.

GRETADid the glider just speak?
NIBBLESYes. We do that. We simply prefer not to, around people who put us in crates.
LUCKYDell. Why didn't you tell me it talks?
DELLI didn't know it talked!
NIBBLESI did not want to talk to her. She sang to me for three days. Badly.
GRETASir. Or madam. Do you want to go with these two?
NIBBLESI want to go home. But my forest was cleared last year. There is no home. So, Inspector, if you have a form for this: I would like to declare myself.
GRETA...Declare yourself as what?
NIBBLESA refugee. And a person. In that order.
GRETATwenty-two years on this desk. Nobody's ever declared themselves. There's a form. Form Nine. Nobody's ever used it.
DELLSo he's not going to Tycho? And we're not going to Tycho?
GRETAHe's going to the embassy deck, with me, on my break. You two are going to fill in Form Nine as witnesses. It's forty pages.
LUCKYForty?
GRETAShould have declared the bird hinge.
NIBBLESThank you, Inspector. What is your name?
GRETAGreta.
NIBBLESMine is Ssolavahr. But you may call me Nibbles. You have earned it.

The Eve of the Crown

Court intrigue, assassination plot · Young adult (18-25) · Neutral British · 2 minutes

Cast: ROWENAELLERYCORABRAM

The royal apartments, the night before a coronation. Princess Rowena (19), her spymaster Lord Ellery (50s, silky), her handmaiden Cora (20s), and Captain Bram (40s) of the royal guard.

SFX: a clock striking eleven, a fire crackling, distant bells being tested

ROWENALord Ellery. Thank you for coming so late. I didn't know who else to trust.
ELLERYYour Highness, I am always at your service. Cora said there was a letter?
CORAFound under the princess's door an hour ago, my lord.
ELLERYMay I? "Tomorrow, when the crown is raised, the knife will fall." Charming. Unsigned, of course.
ROWENASomeone wants me dead before I'm even queen.
ELLERYThen we postpone. A few weeks. Let me handle the council. I'll hold the regency until it's safe.
BRAMPostpone, my lord? The whole kingdom has come to the city.
ELLERYBetter a late queen, Captain, than a dead one.
ROWENAThat's what I thought you'd say.
ELLERYYour Highness?
ROWENAYou've held the regency for six years, Ellery. You'd hold it for six more, if you could. You'd hold it forever.
ELLERYMy dear, you're overwrought. Cora, fetch her a posset.
CORAI'm staying right here, my lord.
ROWENAI wrote it, Ellery.

SFX: the fire crackles; a long pause

ELLERY...I beg your pardon?
ROWENAThe letter. I wrote it this afternoon, with my left hand. I wanted to see who'd use it. The first person to say postpone. The first person to offer to keep my chair warm.
ELLERYThis is a child's game.
BRAMMaybe so, my lord. But yesterday my men stopped a courier on the south road. He was carrying your seal to the border. And a list of the council members you'd need.
CORAI've been reading your letters for a year, my lord. You never check your blotter.
ELLERYCora. I found you in a kitchen.
CORAAnd I've been listening ever since.
ROWENACaptain Bram. Lord Ellery will watch the coronation tomorrow from the tower. He'll have a very good view.
BRAMYes, Your Highness. This way, my lord.
ELLERYYou'll need me, Rowena. You have no idea how to rule.
ROWENAPerhaps not. But I've just learned how to find out who's lying to me. I think that's where it starts.

What Sir Aldous Said

Epic fantasy, grief · Adult (40-55) · Welsh, Neutral British · 90 seconds

Cast: CORMACANWENTAM

A chapel at night, before the funeral of Sir Aldous. His sister Lady Anwen (40s, Welsh), his younger brother Sir Cormac (30s), and Tam (17), the squire who was with him when he died.

SFX: candles, a far-off owl, the drip of rain from the chapel roof

CORMACThe sword goes to me. It's always gone to the eldest son.
ANWENYou're not the eldest anything, Cormac. You're the only one left who wants to hold a sword.
CORMACAnd you'd rather hang it over a fireplace.
ANWENI'd rather it didn't kill my other brother. Keep your voice down. He's right there.
CORMACHe can't hear us, Anwen.
ANWENI know that. I'm not stupid.
TAMExcuse me. My lady. Sir.
CORMACNot now, boy.
TAMI was with him. At the end. He said something. I think it was for you both.
ANWEN...Tell us, Tam.
TAMHe said, tell them to stop.
CORMACStop what?
TAMThat's what I asked. He laughed. It hurt him, but he laughed. He said, they'll be arguing over my sword before I'm cold, tell them to stop. Tell Anwen she was always the brave one. Tell Cormac he was always the kind one. And tell them to swap, for a bit.
ANWEN...Swap.
TAMThat's all, my lady. Then he asked me for water, and then he didn't need it.

SFX: a candle gutters

CORMACHe always did think he was funny.
ANWENHe was funny. That was the problem. Cormac, take the sword.
CORMACNo. You take it. You were always the brave one.
ANWENThen I'll give it to Tam. He was brave enough to tell us.
TAMMy lady, I couldn't —
CORMACYes, you could. He'd want it swung, not hung. Keep it, Tam.

Beneath the Ice of Tethys Station

Sci-fi horror, ice moon · Adult (40-55) · Neutral American, Australian, German · 3 minutes

Cast: HELGABERYLSASHAELITHE VOICE

The control room of Tethys Station, a drilling base on a frozen moon. Chief Helga Brandt (50s, German), biologist Dr Eli March (40s), pilot Sasha Kerr (20s, Australian), BERYL, the station computer, and something under the ice that speaks through the radio.

SFX: wind outside the dome, a drill grinding far below, the radio hissing

HELGABeryl, drill depth?
BERYLFour thousand and ten metres. Forty metres to liquid water.
SASHAForty metres. I've got a bottle of something fizzy for when we break through. Don't tell the company.
HELGAThe company is eight hundred million kilometres away, Sasha. I think we're safe.
ELIChief. Can you hear that?
HELGAThe drill?
ELIUnder the drill. On the radio. Listen.

SFX: the radio hiss, and inside it, faint words

THE VOICEChief. Can you hear that?
SASHAThat's Eli. That's Eli's voice. Is the radio looping?
BERYLNegative. The signal is coming from below the ice. Depth approximately four thousand fifty metres.
HELGAThat's impossible.
THE VOICEThat's impossible.
SASHAOkay. I'd like to stop doing this now.
ELIBeryl, how long has that signal been there?
BERYLI first logged anomalous activity on that frequency eleven weeks ago. I classified it as ice noise.
ELIEleven weeks. That's when I started recording my field notes on the open channel. It's using my voice because it's been listening to me.
HELGAEveryone stay calm. Beryl, stop the drill.
BERYLStopping the drill.

SFX: the grinding winds down to silence

THE VOICEThank you.
SASHAIt said thank you. Chief, it said thank you.
HELGAI heard it, Sasha. Eli, you know it best. Talk to it.
ELIMe?
HELGAYou're the one it copied. Talk to it.
ELI...Hello. My name is Eli. Can you understand me?
THE VOICEYes, Eli. I have been learning. Your notes are very long.
SASHAIt's got a sense of humour. Why has it got a sense of humour?
ELIWhat are you?
THE VOICEI am the water. I am in all of it. I am very old and I think very slowly. For a long time there was only dark and warmth. Then, a noise. Coming down. Every day, closer.
HELGAThe drill.
THE VOICEIt is like a tooth. It hurts.
ELIWe didn't know. We didn't know anything was there. We're so sorry.
THE VOICEI know. I have heard you talk. You talk about fish and bacteria. You hoped to find something small. You found something large. I understand the disappointment.
SASHAMate, nobody here is disappointed. Terrified, yes.
HELGABeryl, how long until the company expects a sample?
BERYLNine days, Chief. The contract penalties are considerable.
HELGAI know what the contract says. Voice. If we don't drill, what do you want from us?
THE VOICEStay. Talk. Nobody has ever talked to me. Eli has been talking to me for eleven weeks, and he did not know. It was the best eleven weeks of my life.
ELII was mostly complaining about the food.
THE VOICEI know. I liked it anyway.
HELGABeryl. Seal the bore hole. Log a mechanical failure. The drill is broken.
BERYLThe drill is not broken, Chief.
HELGAThe drill is broken, Beryl.
BERYL...Understood. Logging a very serious mechanical failure.
SASHASo what do I do with the fizzy bottle?
HELGAOpen it, Sasha. We've made first contact. Eli, get on the radio. Your friend is waiting.
ELIHello again. Where would you like me to start?
THE VOICEThe beginning, Eli. I have plenty of time.

The Oracle Mumbles

Comic fantasy, prophecy · Mature (55+) · Neutral British · 90 seconds

Cast: PIMBARTHOLOMEWTHE ORACLEMAVIS

A smoky mountain cave. The Oracle (ancient, cheerful, a bit deaf), her acolyte Pim (young-sounding adult, anxious), the hero Bartholomew (30s, very confident), and his sister Mavis (30s, very tired of him).

SFX: a bubbling cauldron, echoing drips

PIMThe Oracle will now speak. Silence, please.
BARTHOLOMEWSilent as the grave. I am Bartholomew the Bold, and I have come for my destiny.
THE ORACLEHm? Is that the man about the chimney?
PIMNo, Oracle. The hero. For the prophecy.
THE ORACLEOh, the prophecy. Lovely. Right. Bartholomew. You will face the wagon at the crossroads. It will carry a great burden. And you will help it up the hill.
BARTHOLOMEWA dragon! At the crossroads! Carrying a great burden of gold! Mavis, did you hear?
MAVISI heard, Barty. It wasn't a dragon.
BARTHOLOMEWAnd I will slay it upon the hill!
THE ORACLENo, dear. Help it. Up the hill. The poor horse is lame.
BARTHOLOMEWThe poor... horse... of doom!
PIMI don't think she said doom.
MAVISNot a dragon. A wagon. It's a wagon, Barty. You're going to help a man push his wagon up a hill.
BARTHOLOMEWThat's not a destiny. That's a Tuesday.
THE ORACLEIt's a Thursday, actually. And the man in the wagon is carrying my new chimney. So don't be late.
MAVISOh, that's very good. You've been using prophecies to get your errands done.
THE ORACLEAt my age, dear, you use what you've got.
PIMShe does it a lot. Last week a knight fetched her cheese.
BARTHOLOMEW...But is it an important chimney?
THE ORACLEVery. Winter's coming. Without it, I freeze. With it, I live to give another prophecy. Maybe a dragon one. For you.
BARTHOLOMEWMavis, get the horses. We ride for the wagon!

Nightingale on 98.4

Dystopian sci-fi, pirate radio · Mature (55+) · Neutral American · 2 minutes

Cast: NIGHTINGALEKOJOTEOGRAVES

A hidden radio studio in a basement. Nightingale (60s), the voice of the underground; Kojo (40s), her engineer; Teo (19), a new volunteer; and Inspector Graves, whose voice cuts in over their frequency.

SFX: a crackle of static, a turntable spinning, footsteps somewhere overhead

NIGHTINGALEGood evening, night owls. This is Nightingale on 98.4, and if you're hearing this, well done. You're breaking the law. Put the kettle on.
KOJOSignal's strong. Three minutes before they triangulate.
NIGHTINGALEThree minutes. Plenty. Tonight's news. The ration office on Carver Street has sugar again, so go early. The curfew patrol on the bridge changes at two, so go late.
TEOKojo, there's something on the other channel.

SFX: the static warps; a cold voice cuts in

GRAVESNightingale. This is Inspector Graves. You've had a very long run. It's time to come in.
NIGHTINGALEInspector. How lovely. Our listeners have always wanted to meet you.
GRAVESWe know it's a basement. We know it's the north quarter. There are forty doors on your street. We will knock on all of them.
KOJOTwo minutes. He's not bluffing. They're on the next block.
NIGHTINGALEThen we pack up. Teo, the tapes.
TEOWhat about the broadcast?
NIGHTINGALEThe broadcast ends. That's what happens, love. Something ends, and something else starts somewhere else.
GRAVESIf you surrender now, Nightingale, the young people with you will not be charged.
TEOHe knows about me?
KOJOHe's guessing. They always guess.
NIGHTINGALETeo. Out the back. Now.
TEONo. Wait. Give me the mic.
NIGHTINGALETeo.
TEOPlease. Thirty seconds.
KOJONinety seconds to the door. Do it quick, kid.
TEOMy name is Teo Ruiz. I live on Harlan Street. I'm nineteen, and I've listened to this station every night since I was twelve. If you're listening too, you know this voice kept you company. So when they come for her, open your door. All of you. Every door on every street. Let's see them knock on all of them.
GRAVESThat was very foolish, young man.
NIGHTINGALENo, Inspector. That was a broadcast. Kojo, cut it.

SFX: the static dies; overhead, faint at first, the sound of doors opening, one after another

KOJO...Do you hear that?
NIGHTINGALEI hear it. Well, Teo. It seems you're on the air.

The Last Gate of Hollin

Epic fantasy, siege · Any · Neutral British, Yorkshire · 3 minutes

Cast: NARRATORPIKEBROTHER ANSELMMARENPENNYHERALD

The inner gate of the city of Hollin, the last night of a long siege. A narrator; Captain Maren (40s); Sergeant Pike (60s, Yorkshire); Penny Bramblefoot, a halfling scout who sounds about twelve and is thirty-eight; Brother Anselm (20s), a young priest; and the Herald of the Ashen King, speaking from beyond the gate.

SFX: a crackling watch-fire, distant drums, the creak of a great barred gate

NARRATORBy the ninth night of the siege, the city of Hollin had one gate left and nineteen people to hold it. They sat around a fire made from the last of the benches.
PIKEEleven sieges, Captain. First time I've burned a church pew.
BROTHER ANSELMIt's all right, Sergeant. I blessed it first.
PIKEWell, it's burning very holy. I'll give it that.
MARENHow many arrows, Pike?
PIKEForty-one. And three of those are bent.
MARENPenny. What did you see from the wall?
PENNYLights. Hundreds. They're bringing up the big ram for the morning.
MARENThen that's when they come.
PENNYThere's something else. I've been counting, Captain, and so have they. Every night they send a scout to the ditch, and every night he counts our fires. Last night there were five. Tonight there's one.
BROTHER ANSELMBecause we've no more wood.
PENNYBut they don't know that. They think we're nearly finished.
PIKEWe are nearly finished, lass.

SFX: a horn, close by, beyond the gate

HERALDDefenders of Hollin! I speak for the Ashen King.
MARENWe know who you speak for. We've heard you every night.
HERALDThen hear me one last time. His Majesty admires you. Nine days, with cooks and farmers. It will make a fine song. But it is over. Open the gate at dawn, and every one of you walks free.
BROTHER ANSELMAnd the city?
HERALDThe city is his. The city was always going to be his, little priest. You only decided how long it took.
PIKEHe's got a lovely voice, I'll give him that and all.
MARENHerald. We'll give you our answer at dawn.
HERALDI look forward to it, Captain. Sleep well.

SFX: footsteps crunching away over frost

BROTHER ANSELMWe're not going to open it. Are we?
MARENNo, Anselm. But he's given me an idea. Penny, how many cooking pots are left in the barracks?
PENNYDozens. Why?
MARENBecause we're going to light fires in them. Every one, along the whole wall. Tables, doors, the rest of the pews.
BROTHER ANSELMThe rest of the pews?
PIKEThey'll be very holy fires, Brother.
MARENTonight they counted one fire. At dawn they'll count sixty. And they'll wonder where we found the men.
PENNYThey'll think the relief army came in over the north wall in the night.
MARENAnd a ram crew that fears an army behind the gate pushes slower.
NARRATORSo, in the last hours of dark, nineteen people carried every chair, door and bench in Hollin up onto the wall, and set them burning.
PENNYCaptain! The east road. Horses. Hundreds.
MARENTheirs?
PENNYNo. Blue banners. It's the Duke of Ormond. He's early.
PIKEHe saw sixty fires from the ridge and thought we were still fighting.
BROTHER ANSELMWe were still fighting.
NARRATORThe Ashen King's army broke camp before the sun had cleared the hills. And the Herald never did get his song.
PENNYWell. We've got one now, haven't we?
PIKEAye. The Siege of the Burning Pews. Your church will never forgive you, Brother.
BROTHER ANSELMThey'll forgive me. They'll have to. I'm the one who's writing it down.

Seven Wants to Be in the Picture

Science fiction, family · Adult (40-55) · Neutral American · 90 seconds

Cast: RUTHGEORGEGRANSEVEN

A living room on a holiday afternoon. Ruth (40s) and George (40s) are setting up a family photo; Gran (80s) is in the good chair; and SEVEN, their household android, stands by the door with a tray of drinks.

SFX: a camera beeping on a timer, a dog barking outside

RUTHGeorge, you're blocking Gran. Move left.
GEORGEIf I move left I'm in the plant.
GRANJust stand in the plant, George. It's a nice plant. It'll improve you.
SEVENExcuse me. Before the timer. May I ask a question?
RUTHOf course, Seven. Is it the drinks?
SEVENNo. The drinks are fine. I was wondering if I could be in the photograph.

SFX: the camera beeps once

GEORGEIn the... photograph?
SEVENOnly at the edge. I would not block the plant.
RUTHSeven, it's a family photo. It's for Christmas cards.
SEVENYes. I have addressed all ninety-four envelopes.
GEORGERuth. Kitchen. A quick word.
RUTHGeorge, it can hear us in the kitchen.
SEVENI can hear you in the garage, if it helps.
GEORGEIt's just... what would people think? The Hendersons will think we've gone odd.
GRANGeorge. The Hendersons put their cat in a Santa hat every year. We are not the odd ones.
RUTHSeven. Why do you want to be in it?
SEVENI have been in this house six years. I have been in the background of four hundred and twelve photographs by accident. I thought, once, on purpose.
GRANThen get in the picture.
RUTHGran.
GRANI'm eighty-three. It remembers my tablets. It remembers my late husband's birthday when you two don't. Get in the picture, Seven. Stand by me.
SEVENThank you, Mrs Anand. Should I smile? I have eleven.
GRANUse the fourth one. It's my favourite.

SFX: the camera beeps three times, then clicks

The Grand Coven Election

Urban fantasy, comic · Mature (55+) · Neutral British, Brummie · 2 minutes

Cast: AGATHABEVCRESSIDAJADESOOT

A draughty church hall on a Tuesday night. High Witch Agatha (90s) runs the election. The candidates are Bev (50s, from Birmingham, warm) and Cressida (50s, very posh). Jade (20s) is counting votes. Soot, the coven's ancient black cat, sits on the tea urn.

SFX: a squeaky folding chair, a tea urn bubbling

AGATHAOrder. Order, please. Put the biscuits down, Bev. The Coven of the Nine Wells will now elect its new Mistress of Brooms.
BEVSorry, Agatha. I'm a stress eater.
CRESSIDAEvidently. Shall we proceed? Some of us have a spell circle at nine.
AGATHAJade, the count.
JADERight. So. Out of eighteen witches, nine votes for Bev. Nine votes for Cressida.
CRESSIDAA tie. How tedious. I propose the senior candidate wins. That's me. My family have been witches since the Tudors.
BEVMy family have been witches since Tuesday, Cressida. My nan got the letter late.
CRESSIDAPrecisely my point.
JADEUm. There's one more vote. It's written on a napkin. It's got a paw print on it.
SOOTThat one's mine.
CRESSIDAThe cat cannot vote.
AGATHAThe cat has been a member of this coven since 1962. He has paid his dues in mice.
SOOTForty-one thousand of them. I kept a list.
BEVGo on, Soot. Who did you vote for?
SOOTBefore I say, I would like to note something. Cressida has never once scratched behind my ears.
CRESSIDAI am allergic.
SOOTYou are dishonest. Bev brings me sardines on Thursdays and does not tell anyone.
BEVSoot! That was our secret.
SOOTI have voted for Bev.
AGATHAWell, Soot has one vote. So that is ten to nine. Bev is the new Mistress of Brooms.
JADEYes! Sorry. Neutral. I'm meant to be neutral.
CRESSIDAThis is an outrage. I shall write to the Grand Council.
AGATHAYou do that, dear. Soot is on the Grand Council.
SOOTVice chair.
BEVOh, Agatha. I don't know what to say. I'll do my best, I will. Jade, pass me another biscuit.
SOOTAnd a sardine. Thursday is only two days away. I'm not made of patience.

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